I promised myself I wouldn't cry...

First, hats off to ESPN Page 2 poll participants who stated that Britney's 2004 was one of the worst seasons anyone's had out of the last 25 years. She is, of course, second only to Ryan Leaf according to the poll. Brit, take that, and Daria's impassioned plea in the comments section to heart, ! We want our girl back!

I promised myself I wouldn't rant about your current situation on here, because frankly, my eyes can't take much more bleeding. But we are worried. Why are you letting this happen? With that yutz? He makes Stan Szbornak look like Julian McMahon (or at least, Stan Szbornak is on more equal footing w/Julian than whatshisface). Do you not feel positive about yourself? You can get it from other, more appropriate channels!

Tyson Beckford himself said he'd gladly be your man, if you didn't want whatshiscrap anymore. Tyson Beckford! You got to feel all up on him when you guys were shooting the video for "Toxic"; you know what I'm talking about! He even admitted on camera that he has a picture of you on his fridge. Tyson Mother-Scratching Beckford! Come on, go get you some chocolate, girl! You could use it!

Are you lacking inspiration? Reminders of all that is good and right and happy in this world? Look no further! I shall provide, and thus, end my mini non-rant, and hope that you come to your senses before this shit goes down!


If ever there was a more inspirational image, I have yet to see it.

I need a drink.