Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Too much sugar.

Yeah, my sugar intake has been ridiculous in the past few days. I guess that's what happens when you decide to bake a cake for J.Love's birthday and you let Danhole pick what kind of cake to have. Yes folks, you guessed it: a rather large heart-shaped cake, one layer yellow, the other triple fudge with chocolate chips, a layer of triple fudge icing, a layer of whipped vanilla icing. With star-shaped rainbow sprinkles. Thank you, Captain Coronary; next time, I'll remember to bring the gallon of milk to wash down my baked homage to Love!

This weekend was very good. On Saturday, I went to Costco w/Perla. This is not necessarily the easiest task in the world (warehouse shopping w/my mother usually results in one of my eyeballs popping out from the frustration), but went surprisingly well this time around. This was actually the first time my mom rode in the new vehicle with just me, and the first time she's really said anything complimentary about the car. I think she just dug the fact that we could fit so much warehouse goodness in the back of the car, especially after flipping the back seats up and to the sides.

She went so nuts buying stuff, that she had me hide the receipt so that Mario wouldn't blow a gasket when he saw how much stuff cost. I don't know why she was so worried; I mean, curmudgeonly parents are so cute, sometimes!

Later on Saturday, after unloading all of the warehouse-priced booty, I made yet another unsuccessful trip to Gator Haven with Danhole (two trips in one week; both ended in denial because we got there after they closed), then we went to Publix to stock up for the evening. Lisa came down from Jax last weekend, so we hung out that evening at Danhole's to celebrate J.Love's birthday a few days late (enter some veggie lasagna and the sugar bomb cake).

Lisa, who can sew like mad, made me this awesome handbag that I may have to post a picture of on here at a later date. I told her she can continue to be on retainer as my personal handbag designer for the duration of my life. And she was nice enough to leave one side of the handbag blank so I could "add any and all patches" I desired. After telling me this, she paused briefly (perhaps internally assessing my patch-sewing skills) and said, "Nah, I'll sew them on for you." What a goddess!

Look for the Lisa G "Kick You In The Head" line of handbags, coming soon!

Whoa, the dog needs to water the plants. Back later.

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Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Random task.

So, continuing on with my random playlist...

This is a breakdown of what's played in the car for the last two days (as far as I can remember):

Into the Void - Nine Inch Nails
Stay the Same - Joey McIntyre
Hero Takes a Fall - The Bangles
Zealots - The Fugees
Sexed Up - Robbie Williams
Somebody's Watching Me - Rockwell
Cricket - Dance Hall Crashers
The Brouhaha - Beastie Boys
Salt Water Fish - Ruby
Climbatize - Prodigy
Moment's Notice - Harry Connick, Jr.
Jane - Ben Folds Five
...This Town - Elvis Costello
Total Eclipse of the Heart - The Dan Band (score!)
All My Best Friends Are Metalheads - Less Than Jake
Rodeo Clowns - Jack Johnson
I Think I Have A Chance With This Guy - Teen Girl Squad (from the "Strongbad Sings" album)

See how fun "Random" is? I had "surprised" face on when half of those songs played. Sixty gigs o'funk fill up fast, I suppose.

Tell me about your own "Fun with Random Play" adventures! Ooh!

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Tuesday, February 21, 2006

"I know I love you, because I hate you."

"Random" on the mp3 player is a fabulous thing. Songs that have no earthly business being played even within the same hour of each other get to color the soundtrack that is my life. They get played and get to know each other in the span of four minutes; much in the way that "Speed Dating" shit is supposed to work.

I used to get yelled at because when it came to mix tapes and cds, I was told I had "no transition whatsoever" between songs, Well, f transition. F transition right in the a. Transition is for sissy-la-las! "That'll put marzipan in your pie plate, Bingo!"

What? Sorry. I'm still semi-recovering from the ludicrous amounts of barbecue consumed yesterday afternoon. A couple of sweet potatoes and plates of the junk, and I'm done.

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Thursday, February 16, 2006

I forgot about the friggin' quiche!

Now, if that doesn't sound quasi-pretentious, I don't know what does.

So, I happened to talk to a lot of stupid people today. The glory of talking on a headset is that your range of colorful hand gestures is almost limitless. And I've gotten quite adept at hitting the "Mute" button. Modern technology is wonderful. Why did I take time off from being a therapist again?

Going to catch some of tonight's episode of Cheaters, since nothin' makes you feel better about your sitch than looking at people in a shittier sitch than you!

(And yes, I said "Sitch." I am in a very Kristy Swanson mood. Leave me alone.)

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Monday, February 13, 2006

Grr. Argh.

It was one of those days today. You know, the one where if a person actually comes up to you with that super-cheery "Looks like someone's got a case of the Mondays!" just like they do in Office Space, you might actually jam out on their face with a rubber mallet (only because we're humane, people. Only because we're humane).

It started off with an e-mail from my boss telling me the article I was supposed to write was due by the end of the day. Now, I don't know about you, but when you have a ton of crap on your desk, and you can't see the end of it, to be given another piece of crap that's supposed to take precedence over the older, more pressing crap... well, you get the point.

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Just like my cube. Except with far less clutter and much more Tetris. And Ron Livingston isn't sitting at my desk, either. And I'd kill to have an Initech page holder for my monitor!

I mean, it's not like anything
important... it's a cheesy company newsletter gig where you spend so many words lying about how your department is totally enthused about all the changes that are happening. But, still, it's just one more thing. And I was volunteered to write it, which makes me all the more motivated.

Too bad I don't have the literary freedom I had with meeting minutes at my last job. I may never have a job where I can write the word "cockmaster" in the minutes with nary a second look again. Sigh.

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Please don't hit him with a hockey stick.

Today's Adam's birthday. Please don't hit him with a hockey stick. Or puck. Or half-full jug of Maker's Mark.

Okay, maybe that last one. But that's all!

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Wednesday, February 08, 2006

www.icantfindmyass.com.

So, some of you may be aware that recently, I've been thinking of acquiring a web domain so I can use it to point to this blog, or whatever. It's been especially present on my mind lately, since there is a promotion to get a domain for only $2.99 a year. I was discussing this with D online this afternoon, as I wanted to not only get a domain for my own site, but to get something started for all the bitches from college (more details on that as our brains stew over the ideas we've already formulated).

After much online discussion, as well as D's impressive use of letters to express broader ideas (i.e. "OMG!! you DIDN'T!!!! HOT CAR!!!! OMG!!!!") we ended up reading the fine print, and realizing that there was the potential to get charged more and more per month than we were first led to believe. That, and you were limited to just one domain name per customer at that price. Bastards.

During the course of our discussion about web domains, we were trying to think of some good names to use; you know, some catchy shit that isn't hard to remember. Whenever we thought we had a chestnut, I'd run it through to see if it was already taken. This sent me into fits of laughter quite a bit.

I mean, you'd chuckle too if you saw a web page that carried the message, "Congratulations! ICantFindMyAss.com is available!" And don't even lie. You would!

So, my quest for my own personal web domain will be put on hold for just a little while longer. But, if you have any ideas as to what my domain name should be, please do send a comment below. I can use all the help I can get, as my creative juices are at the equivalent of creative protein shake mix. (Twice the grit, Patterson!)

Oh, and if you are doing some belated birthday shopping for me, web domains are a popular item these days. I'll give you major props if you happen to get me ICantFindMyAss.com. Because, God knows that's going on my next set of business cards!

Here endeth the shameless plea.

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Stump Time!

Happy Birthday to Sarah, aka my beloved Stumpy, the F***ing Magical Unicorn! She turns just a little older than me today, so I send my well wishes on their way up to Murrells Inlet, SC, home of The Beaver Bar (where the slogan is "Save a Beaver; Blow a Biker," and where I hope to be dancing atop the bar in a few months! Here is a lovely photo, courtesy of Gene Ho, of the Stump and her intended:

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So adorable, I could spew!

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