And things were going so well!

Today was another day, except for the fact that I capped it off with a trip to the cinema to catch Blade: Trinity with Patterson and one of his old friends from work, name withheld to help me preserve my own dignity.

Now, when I was on the phone with Mark and he told me that whatshisface was coming, I naturally assumed this was the whatshisface that I met who was a bit older, with salt-and-pepper hair, who insisted I say grace at the dinner we all had (WTF?), and who didn't necessarily leave me with the best of impressions. However, when I met up with them at the theater, this was an entirely different, younger, cuter whatshisface, so, well, game on!

I'm sure I was mighty impressive with my pigtails and ill-conceived outfit (hell, I thought it was the other dude so I didn't think I had to impress anyone). And my wit, as always, was rapier-sharp (when he handed me money to pay me back for purchasing the tickets, I exclaimed "Ooh! I didn't even have to dance for it!" Side note: he laughed heartily). Besides the smoking thing, he seemed like a nice enough person to talk to.

After the movie, the three of us walked to the parking lot, and we got to my car first. He did that little stretch thing where guys probably just stretch to show off their not-bellies. It was semi-acceptable (the stretch thing, that is... there was no detectable belly).

Now, as some of you know, my beloved brother affixed those vinyl Albert the Alligator stickers to my back passenger windows some time ago, and they have lasted for at least two or three years. Well, upon seeing the sticker on my car, this jackhole pulled out his lighter and put an open flame to Albert!

Needless to say, even though he was joking around, and I jokingly slapped at his wrist, yelling, "Cut it out!" this was a problem. Add to that, he started doing the fucking whorechant! I retaliated with "Uh, 20-13?" He came back with "The Choke at Doak." I quickly reminded him that was "ten friggin' years ago," and that 20-13 is "now," and "UF is undefeated at Booby Bow-down Field."


"Okay, who attempted to besmirch UF's good name? Who wants some?"

I clearly had accepted the gauntlet and thrown it back at him succesfully, but the damage was done. Before this guy could even garner enough interest from me to get on the short list, he was crossed off it.

And things were going so well. Crap!

I am off to the kitchen, ISO comfort food. And my eyelids burn.