MORE "More than a Feeley."

More chuckles, from ESPN.com's Page 3:

A.J. FEELEY, Miami Dolphins
On occasion, I'll look to the sky and ask, "Why is it blue?" Or maybe I'll look wistfully up at a basketball rim and ask, "Why wasn't I born to dunk?" In sports bars, I frequently hear, "How the [expletive] is A.J. Feeley dating Heather Mitts?"

In the event you're out of the loop on women's soccer here's the skinny on Mitts: As a member of the U.S. National soccer team and Page 2's Hottest Female Athlete of '04, Heather Mitts is one of the most desirable female athletes on the planet (apologies to golf's Next Big Thing, Natalie Gulbis). Mitts, she of the cover-girl looks and disarming smile, has attracted many a suitor, namely ex-boyfriend, Pat Burrell (overrated Philadelphia Phillies outfielder) and actor John Cusack. A newspaper report in June of 2001 alleges Cusack attempted to kiss her after taking her to dinner in Manhattan, but she responded with the pullback. Ouch.

Feeley, 27, appears to have won her heart. Back in October of 2002, a newspaper spotted the couple cutting a rug on the dance floor at a club in Cherry Hill, New Jersey. Three months later, things got quasi-serious, as they attended the Super Bowl together in January of 2003. By March, they were Philadelphia's cutest couple (meanwhile, Burrell privately stewed and had the worst season of his young career).

Many predicted the relationship would go kaput when Feeley signed with Miami. Not quite. Word on the street is the 26-year-old Mitts has moved with him in Florida, and of all the quarterback couples, these two appear to have the greatest staying power.

Okay, some things:

• Lately, when I see media coverage of the Heather/AJ machine, I hear Fozzy Bear in my head. I'm not even kidding.
• In sports bars, I frequently hear, "How the [expletive] is A.J. Feeley dating Heather Mitts?" This statement can most clearly be heard at the Gator Goal Getters booth at the Beard, as well as at The Swamp Restaurant, the Gainesville Ale House, and walking towards Concordia Condominiums on a sunny, autumn Sunday afternoon.
• A newspaper report in June of 2001 alleges Cusack attempted to kiss her after taking her to dinner in Manhattan, but she responded with the pullback. Ouch. Haven't I always told you Mittsy was a smart girl? And to think, back in 2001, she didn't even know about Cusack's personal odor or his traveling "herbologist." Smart like a Gator!

More on this later. Because of the Holiday Eats at work, I have reached Critical Mass.