Every time I think I'm out...

Right now, I feel like a whale. Perhaps I had too much beverage today, but I can barely move. This just caps off a weird weekend.

Yesterday, Mom was feeling sick, so I was going to run some errands for her. Right before I left, Sideshow called me over to the garage.

"Dude," he started in low tones, "Pop's in so much fucking trouble."

"What? Why?"

"He was doing yardwork, and he lost his wedding ring."

"Dude. He is in so much fucking trouble!"

Apparently, Mario was raking and bagging leaves in the backyard, and at some point, his ring fell off. We figured that maybe the ring fell into one of the lawn bags. I wondered why Pop didn't just hunker down and go through the bags.

"Dude, if it was me, I'd pour that shit all over the driveway to look for it," Sideshow stated, "But Pop just won't do that."

"Has he told Mom yet?" I asked.

"No," he replied, "But she's going to kick his ass when she finds out."

Silence for a few seconds. Then we looked at each other. "We better lay low for the next couple of days," we both concluded. I left to run errands.

I got back a couple of hours later. My folks were nowhere to be found. I find out that Mario took Perla to the ER because she fell out of bed and somehow dislocated her finger trying to break her fall. Soon after, Perla recounts the tale of her injury, and how it hurt more to get the shots to numb the area to reset her finger than the actual dislocation did. Her whole left hand was covered by an ice pack, so I asked her which finger it was.

She held up her hand. "My ring finger," she replied.

Well, I'll be damned. Something tells me that through the healing process, my mother won't be able to wear her wedding ring, either. At this point, I wonder whether Mario has told her about losing his ring, but I chose to keep my mouth shut.

Fast forward to today, when I did my laundry. My dad handed me something he wanted me to put in the garage, and as I turned around to get it, the lid to the washing machine came crashing down on my hand. Needless to say, it's been ice on, ice off for the past few hours. Oh yeah, did I mention? It was my left hand. No rings present or missing, of course.

Anyway, it's time for me to get some ice on this bitch. Until next time, have a chuckle at this, because any reason for me to chuckle at this hoser is a good one:

Veteran band protests about Justin

Another good reason to respect the elders!