The downward spiral.

It was another craptacular day at work. Even more calls today from irate people who will blame anyone who will listen for all that ails them. The main issue I found today was that most of the jackballs I spoke to today had problems answering simple and direct questions.

Me: Are you having problems with your system, sir?
He: The patient's number is 123-45-6789Y.
Me: Sir, did you try to use your system to check this information? You do have to try to access the system for the information you're looking for, since you need to print out your results. Were you able to log on to the system?
He: The patient's name is ... Date of birth ... gender...
Me: Sir? Do you have access to the system at all?
He: He says he has HMO.

This is the part where my head explodes.

It wouldn't be so bad if I only got characters like that some of the time. But, as it stands, every third call is someone trying to dodge the question of whether or not they are following the rules by avoiding the question, pretending they didn't hear me, getting indignant with me ("Well, we've been doing this for twenty years, and we've NEVER been told we had to do THAT!"), and just plain lying.

She: I'm calling to check eligibility for this client.
Me: I can help you with that. Are you having problems using the system to pull up that information?
She: Yeah. We had a lot of rain here this afternoon/Our system is down/Someone stole our computers (the list goes and goes and goes)...

My personal fave happened a couple of weeks ago. I answered my phone and was about to un-mute myself and give my greeting when I heard the person calling tell their co-worker, "Oh, I know we're supposed to use the system to check this. But when I call, I just lie to them and tell them our system is down." After a second or two of shock, I happily un-muted, gave the cheeriest greeting ever, then sat with three seconds of silence as the scoundrel, realizing I had heard everything she had just said, suddenly sucked in her breath, then slammed down the phone. Since the call came through on the Caller ID, I had half a notion to call her back and let her have it. I did jot down her number, and scrawled "Friggin' Idiot" on the Post-It. I think it gives me some comfort.

Whoever you are, liar/hanger-upper, I hope you are hanging your head down in shame for lying because you were too damned lazy to do your own work. I will not hesitate to point you out and laugh obnoxiously should I run into you in public and witness the deli worker give the very last stuffed potato balls you'd been thinking about all day to the person directly ahead of you in line. I will laugh even harder should that person in line right ahead of you be someone you were going to spend time with immediately after going to the store, and that person proceeds to eat those very stuffed potato balls right in front of your fucking face without offering you a bite.

See? This is what happens when I don't get enough rest. I get sidetracked and start talkin' potato balls.

Yikes, and it's only Tuesday.

Downward spiral, here I come!