The best job ever?

Yesterday morning, as I was recovering from my old-age meltdown, I spoke to a friend about what they were planning on doing for the day. My friend, who shall remain nameless for the time being (and you'll figure out why), told of a plan to spend the morning landscaping, as a venture out to Lowe's earlier in the morning resulted in the purchase of many plants.

This friend then lamented on how landscaping is quickly becoming a new (and apparently expensive) addiction. We then joked about how at least it's better than sporting a crack habit, and how a landscaping addiction would probably make one have to find supplemental income to support it.

"Sounds like you're going to need to find a second job," I said. "But what kind of job can you get?"

"Well..." (brief pause). "I could get a job holding dicks."

(Crickets chirping in the background)

"Yes. Yes, I guess you could. Good on you!"

Now, you can see why I refrain from putting names here, so as to avoid embarrassing somebody's Mama.

Not my Mama, of course.