What the hell am I seeing?

I'll tell you: Alicia Keys, Lenny Kravitz, and Stevie "Somebody Just Give Him A Peek!" Wonder are onstage, and they're busting their chops on a cover of Red Hot Chili Peppers' "Higher Ground." What the hell is going on?

Somebody get Abby up there to sing "The Star-Spangled Banner" later in the show. After all...

"I'm going to say I might have been the best singer out there," Wambach said. "I'm going to go out on a limb here. I might get a record deal after that performance."

Agh. Ashlee Simpson is on. My eyes are bleeding. Bleeding! The Tony Hawk is not making the bleeding stop.

Oh, but what is this? They just showed Mandy Moore saying that she's presenting an award with Marilyn Manson. Then they showed Manson being interviewed about how he got to the awards show, and he responded, "I rode in on Mandy Moore." I think the bleeding might stop just long enough for me to watch this.