100 Things About Me. Almost.

I've had this blog for almost two years, and I haven't done one of those "100 Things About Me" lists yet, so what the hell, right?

However, because I am feeling just that spry, I will be presenting you with 77 Things About Me instead. Why? Because I can. And I'm asserting my independence.

(Yeah, didn't think I could find a shitty transition in time for the holiday, did you?)

1. I'm right-handed.
2. Gatorade counts as comfort food to me.
3. Most of my closest friends are guys.
4. My psychic friend hasn't been wrong yet. Dionne Warwick should've talked to her ass back in the day.
5. I love clean-cut do-gooders.
6. The above is both a blessing and a curse.
7. I love any and all Gator Sports.
   
8. I still have two screws in the bone below my left knee.
9. I had a hot pink skateboard when I was seven. I used it to sit on and scoot around our driveway.
10. My best guy friend in my neighborhood when I was five was a kid named Dante.
11. My best girl friend in my neighborhood when I was six was a kid named Julia. Thinking back on her behavior now, I believe she was probably an exhibitionist.
12. My brother and I used to have "Stink Bomb Wars" in our living room with balled up socks. Dirty or clean, but mostly clean.
13. My first album: The Bangles, A Different Light. On tape. Bought by my Mom at K-Mart when I was in the fifth grade. Until that point, I listened to all of my brother's music collection.
14. Because of that, I was the only ten-year-old I knew who heard Depeche Mode's Black Celebration album and the Descendents' I Don't Want to Grow Up!
15. My first teen idol: Molly Ringwald.
    
16. First celebrity crush: Sean Astin, when I was in the sixth grade.
    
17. Coincidentally, my first serious real-life crush happened around the same time, and his name was Sean, too.
18. I highly doubt this crush ever knew I had one on him. (Boy, I hope he isn't reading this.)
19. This crush was also the beginning of a template I would follow for years to come (see #5).
20. Moving to Florida was an absolute culture shock for me.
21. My first school in Florida was the first (and only) one I'd ever attended where the only non-white kids were me and two black kids.
    
22. I can sometimes shop in the kids' shoes section.
23. When I sing along to the stereo in the car, I also sing with my hands.
24. When I was in the third grade, we could earn extra credit by picking any word we wanted and spelling it correctly on our test paper. The word I chose was "antidisestablishmentarianism."
    
25. The above got me a trip upstairs to the eighth-grade classroom to take one of their spelling tests with them. That'll learn me for showing off.
26. I took three months' worth of piano lessons when I was seven.
27. I yearn to be able to read music again.
28. I tend to procrastinate.
29. I have a short attention span when it comes to listening to music on a mix cd or on a playlist.
30. I can be quite tactile.
31. I think I bruised my ribs last week.
32. I was born in Hackensack, New Jersey. I always thought that "Hackensack" would be the ideal name for a fictional town full of serial killers.
33. I am a snob about flip-flops.
    
34. When I die, I want to be buried wearing my Reefs.
35. I like things that are not good for me.
36. I broke my pinky finger in the sixth grade after a battle between my bike and a parked car.
37. For my twentieth birthday, Less than Jake offered to train spank me on stage. I politely declined.
38. I regret that now.
39. I never owned a Barbie.
40. I'm okay with that.
41. I've only really liked two of the girlfriends my brother ever brought home. Coincidentally, their names rhymed.
42. My best friend in the fifth grade told everyone on the bus ride home from our field trip about the boy I liked. This audience included said boy and my mother.
43. I was put in speech classes in the first grade because they thought I had speech problems. Turns out I was just mimicking my parents' accents.
44. Going to McDonald's was a treat to me as a kid, since we had to drive to the one next to Brunswick Lanes, which was the closest.
45. I hated having to use the erasers on the caps of my erasable pens. Currently, it bothers me to use the erasers on mechanical pencils.
    
46. In high school, four of us decided to fashion ourselves after the girls in Heathers. I, of course, was always Veronica.
47. My mom and I wore matching outfits as recently as today.
48. Patterson's dad always asks me when I'm "going to write the Great American Novel." I have no idea where he got this notion.
49. First concert during college: Violent Femmes with G. Love and Special Sauce.
50. I had difficulty adjusting when Jennie Garth cut her hair short.
51. I tend to overdose when my mom makes chicken macaroni soup.
52. Song lyrics pop into my head at the strangest times.
53. I can say the word "douchebag" in front of my boss.
54. I have inspired my boss to use the word "douchebag" more often.
55. In college, Daria and I were going to start a band named Orifice, because we were "better than Hole." She was just crazy enough to assign me the role of lead singer. We were going to start by doing nothing but Green Day covers.
56. I tend to watch whole seasons of shows I like in one sitting.
57. I have started to write a "story" at least five times.
58. At most, I complete one chapter before giving up on it because I thought it sucked.
59. Long ago, I stopped referring to anyone as my "best friend," as it tends to jinx the situation altogether.
60. Fruit Juicy Red Hawaiian Punch gives me nightmares. Orange Ocean does not.
61. My favorite professor beat me up with a yardstick on my birthday because I was falling asleep in his class. But, to be fair, it was a three-hour block class.
    
62. Once they got to college, I was given the unenviable task of teaching some of my guy friends how to dress.
63. I loved being a Safety Patrol in middle school.
64. I have rules for eating M&M's. Orange and blue ones should always be eaten together, or one after the other. The following color combinations cannot be eaten at the same time, or one after the other: red and yellow, green and yellow, and green and orange. An M&M of another color not listed in these pairs must be eaten between these colors. I'm so not kidding.
65. My dog's middle name is Wooderson, in honor of David Wooderson from Dazed and Confused.
66. One of my prouder moments was when I got my co-worker to use "Balls!" as an expression of disgust and frustration.
67. I am easily entertained.
68. Making someone snort when they laugh is like the Holy Grail to me.
69. I thought Smurfette might have become a bit of a whore after she went blonde.
70. I'm the only one in my family who cannot sing.
71. When I was very, very young, my dad's complexion was so much darker than anyone else in our family's, that I though he was black.
72. I used to love Rollergames when it aired on TV in 1990.
    
73. When I was little, I wanted to be a judge. From what I could tell by watching TV, being a judge entailed sitting at a big desk and pointing at people and telling them what to do. This was an appealing notion.
74. I encountered my first gay couple at my aunt's grocery store/restaurant when I was six. I helped her bag groceries at the time. They came in wearing makeup and bought a pack of Newports. They were very nice.
75. The last time I laughed so hard I started crying was when my brother and I drove up to South Carolina for Stumpy's wedding.
76. I think my future abilities as a parent may be related to my current abilities as a dog owner. This frightens me slightly more than a little.
77. I tend to be wordy.
    

If you want to know more, you're probably really bored. If this is indeed the case, don't tell me, because it will only bruise my already fragile ego. But you can tell me if any of the above also pertain to you. 'Cause it's nice, the familiarity. Don't you think?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to find bootleg Rollergames tapes after I hang up my favorite picture of Sean Astin, circa 1988.