Two miles an hour, so everybody sees you.

I'm debating whether or not I should try to post the song lyrics as titles (since it went so fabulously the last time I did it... I know, crickets chirping like the night they debuted Teen Witch in the theaters).

(Actually, I don't know why I made that comparison. And I don't know if Teen Witch ever did present in the cinemas. How dare I besmirch the name of Dan Gauthier?)

"OMG, Smackadocious, I can't believe you just did that. That was some of my best work next to playing a frat boy who dies of a heroin overdose on 90210, you douche nozzle!"

Anyway, I found it very hard to stay focused at work today. I think it may have to do with my increasing distate for any and all things having to do with my current job, with the exception of being able to freely bounce Reese's Pieces off of my co-worker's desk so they land in her cleavage. Boy, messing with pregnant people sure is fun!

I suppose that now I must make it my mission to preserve my sanity by yet again finding employment in my chosen career field (because what I do now certainly does not meet the criteria).

To put it nicely, events at this job have often resulted in self-administered metopic inflammation (I know, I really should stop slapping myself).

My mission for the week? Get my resume (I hate not knowing how to do that accented-e thing!) spiffed, and sent out to at least one agency. That's what I'm-a-gonna do.

After all, you know that when the little things send you into crying jags, or you think you're going to 'roid rage on someone over something dumb (especially if you haven't taken said anabolics), it's time to reassess.

But I did find something to cheer me this afternoon. I actually paid attention to my environs when I was in the loo at work, and took a picture of this sign taped to the door of the stall:

"That is, unless you plan on flushing just once. Then, you've got a shitload of pressure from the rest of us!" (Yikes, horrible pun not intended. Much.)

I found it oddly fitting, since I had just read about a tiny adventure regarding a toilet.