I can't believe I'm about to quote Bender.

I never watch Futurama. I mean, never. Not ever. The only time I actually had the tele on for an entire episode was on vacay a couple of weeks ago, when Grant and I were playing (no lie) Phase 10 in my cousin's living room, and it was on as background noise. So, for me to quote it is rather phenomenal, since I never watch the damned show, and probably won't get into the habit of doing so, either.

But today, I find myself so compelled.

I DVR'ed a few episodes of SNL on E! this week, because there were some choice ones to view (I wanted to see the second Britney one again, and I never did catch that Jennifer Aniston one when it originally aired, and figured, what the hey, it was a couple of hours of my time). So, this evening, I decided I'd play that Jennifer Aniston episode, and got through the lead-off Donald Trump skit. At that point, I decided I'd fast-forward past the credits to get to the rest of the show.

Works in theory, right?

Well, I hit the fast forward button, and the screen freezes. Hit another button, nothing works. Tried turning the cable box off, and nothing. Well, shit. The last time something like this happened, the cable company "reset" my cable box and summarily deleted everything I had on there with it (the last five episodes of Angel ever, to give you an idea). Needless to say, as this started to happen, I became less and less amused.

The last time I had an issue with the cable box, it had to do with the sound being crappy for a few days at a time. The cable company told me I could reset the box myself in a way that would only reboot the system, and wouldn't erase any of my saved programs. Overjoyed, I did it at the time, and it fixed my sound. Since this was something I thought a safe reboot might be able to fix, I gave it a try.

I managed to reboot the cable box four times. And after every time, when I tried to fast forward, the fucker froze. This happened over the course of an hour and a half. And now, I'm tired. So, for now, as Bender would say, the cable box "can kiss my glorious, golden ass!" I'll just fall asleep watching infomercials or Cheaters or something.

Oh, and another thing:

Any guy whose last name is pronounced "brewski" is alright by me.

And before I forget...


Riley loves to contemplate serious subjects such as the meaning of life and why things that taste so good at the time always seem to make you chuck. She especially likes doing this while napping on my clothing.

Now, I'm going to fall asleep, thinking about how I can't do jack shit for entertainment anymore since my rebudgeting efforts have translated into negative money for hijinx. Crap. Good night.