Post-It Transcription #01.

From a grand total of six Post-Its, at various points in my workday. Mind you, these are the slightly larger, rectangular Post-Its, better suited for my incessant rambling than the standard square ones.

Post-It #1:

I think I'm going to start blogging like this when I'm at work and can't get on the Net. I'll just scan them when I get home. Too difficult to read camera phone pictures.

Now that I've moved to my own cubicle island, things are going swimmingly. My previous location had me at the end of a row of four cubicles with low walls that allowed everyone to peer over at each other, which gave me little comfort as I was surrounded by weirdo oldsters (normal oldsters, on the other hand, kick total ass). Also, I was in a corner with two large windows, giving that warm, incubator feel, which I utterly detest. And chocolate melts way too quickly on that side of the office. But, that's beside the point.

Post-It #2:

Add the heat of the moment corner to being surrounded by Granola Cruncher, Ridiculous Southern Drawl (as opposed to Endearing Southern Drawl, a distant cousin), and Cap'n Asshat and his horridly cloying cologne...

Oh, what's that smell? Smells like LATE MID-LIFE CRISIS!

Sorry about that...

And you have what I like to call Cubicle Purgatory.
BTW, if you want to know more about Cap'n Asshat, sign up for the seminar. I waste entirely too much energy venting about that turd burglar, and I'm not about to devote a whole blog entry to him.

Post-It #3:

Now that I'm on my cubicle island at the opposite end of the office, the temperature is much better, and I have a higher cubicle wall on the side of my cube that faces others, preventing unnecessary eye contact with people I don't want to look at. The only thing I'm going to need to do is install a mirror in my cube. My back is to the door now, and it makes me feel very Martin Blank, if you do get my meaning.

People here think I'm weird, and more than once they've said that I'm just like my brother. I don't get that at all. I wear way more skirts than he does.

Post-It #4:

I am forever on the quest for a satisfying (and cost-free) template for the B World Blog. Of course, the one you are viewing now is cute as hell (ha!), but you know how I am about these things. I mean, how many times did I rearrange my furniture in college? Come on.

So, if you know anyone willing to do pro bono web design grunt work, let me know.

Word of the day: longshoreman.

Post-It #5:

I've got an hour to go... Work with me, people!

Haven't listened to Mr. Johnson in three days. Perhaps this is why there's so much tension in my shoulders and neck.

This last hour is always the toughest. The pace slows considerably, and the office gets quiet, and there are only three of us left for the last hour of operations. I always feel like I need more caffeine to get through the hour. Every afternoon for the past two weeks, I've taken to levitating Gobstoppers to kill time, like I did in high school. Viva Corporate America!

Editor's Note: The last line would've looked much better as it appears on the Post-It, as I am unable to produce an upside-down exclamation point the way it should be at the beginning of the sentence.

Post-It #6:

You know what? I think I'm finally getting used to signing my name without my credentials after it. I don't know quite how to feel about that.

-- My signature here --
Not for individual sale.

It's 5:30. I'm going, gone.