The Help-A-Surly-Asian Foundation.

That is the name of the organization I'm going to start. I came up with the idea sometime late this morning, after the "Service Engine Soon" light came on in my car on the way to work. During his lunch, Sideshow was nice enough to take it to AutoZone to find out what might be wrong with it. Best they could tell, there's a problem with Xander's transmission.

Fahk.

So, this car repair thing is becoming more and more frequent lately, to the point that I feel like I'm throwing money at my car to just keep it running. And we all know how joyful transmission troubles are. On the way home today, every time I tried to accelerate, I felt like I was rolling in neutral. Sigh.

Long story short, there was mention made of shopping around for a new car. I detest the idea, but realize at the same time, it is eventually going to become very necessary, despite my lack of funds. Hence, I am starting the aforementioned fundraising effort, which you may simply call "The Surly Asian Foundation."

Of course, I complain here, but I am really not complaining about it. After all, things that have been happening in the past few years, even the past few days, that are constant reminders that no matter what happens, I've still been incredibly blessed. In other words, I'll get over it soon enough.

So, if you want to contribute to The Surly Asian Foundation, you may do so in the best way possible by volunteering or contributing to the helping organization of your choice.

I'm going to go and try to stop being a whiny asshole now.

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Post-It Transcription #01.

From a grand total of six Post-Its, at various points in my workday. Mind you, these are the slightly larger, rectangular Post-Its, better suited for my incessant rambling than the standard square ones.

Post-It #1:

I think I'm going to start blogging like this when I'm at work and can't get on the Net. I'll just scan them when I get home. Too difficult to read camera phone pictures.

Now that I've moved to my own cubicle island, things are going swimmingly. My previous location had me at the end of a row of four cubicles with low walls that allowed everyone to peer over at each other, which gave me little comfort as I was surrounded by weirdo oldsters (normal oldsters, on the other hand, kick total ass). Also, I was in a corner with two large windows, giving that warm, incubator feel, which I utterly detest. And chocolate melts way too quickly on that side of the office. But, that's beside the point.

Post-It #2:

Add the heat of the moment corner to being surrounded by Granola Cruncher, Ridiculous Southern Drawl (as opposed to Endearing Southern Drawl, a distant cousin), and Cap'n Asshat and his horridly cloying cologne...

Oh, what's that smell? Smells like LATE MID-LIFE CRISIS!

Sorry about that...

And you have what I like to call Cubicle Purgatory.
BTW, if you want to know more about Cap'n Asshat, sign up for the seminar. I waste entirely too much energy venting about that turd burglar, and I'm not about to devote a whole blog entry to him.

Post-It #3:

Now that I'm on my cubicle island at the opposite end of the office, the temperature is much better, and I have a higher cubicle wall on the side of my cube that faces others, preventing unnecessary eye contact with people I don't want to look at. The only thing I'm going to need to do is install a mirror in my cube. My back is to the door now, and it makes me feel very Martin Blank, if you do get my meaning.

People here think I'm weird, and more than once they've said that I'm just like my brother. I don't get that at all. I wear way more skirts than he does.

Post-It #4:

I am forever on the quest for a satisfying (and cost-free) template for the B World Blog. Of course, the one you are viewing now is cute as hell (ha!), but you know how I am about these things. I mean, how many times did I rearrange my furniture in college? Come on.

So, if you know anyone willing to do pro bono web design grunt work, let me know.

Word of the day: longshoreman.

Post-It #5:

I've got an hour to go... Work with me, people!

Haven't listened to Mr. Johnson in three days. Perhaps this is why there's so much tension in my shoulders and neck.

This last hour is always the toughest. The pace slows considerably, and the office gets quiet, and there are only three of us left for the last hour of operations. I always feel like I need more caffeine to get through the hour. Every afternoon for the past two weeks, I've taken to levitating Gobstoppers to kill time, like I did in high school. Viva Corporate America!

Editor's Note: The last line would've looked much better as it appears on the Post-It, as I am unable to produce an upside-down exclamation point the way it should be at the beginning of the sentence.

Post-It #6:

You know what? I think I'm finally getting used to signing my name without my credentials after it. I don't know quite how to feel about that.

-- My signature here --
Not for individual sale.

It's 5:30. I'm going, gone.

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Pointless.

So, I was wondering how I would be able to capture the precious moments that happen away from the computer, such as the ones that occur during work or elsewhere. I tried to do the mobile blogging thing w/the cell phone, but for some reason, when I send those blog entries in, the punctuation marks don't seem to translate very well (ampersands and colons all over the place, like a very gory grammar horror movie).

So, as I sat there in my little cubby today, I decided I would jot down bloggeries on Post-Its and scan them when I got home. Then, I'd post the scans on the blog. I thought it would be neat to see the "raw feed" of all the bullshit that comes out of my head.

That's what I did. When I got home, I hunkered down at the desktop and scanned away. Little did I realize that today was not a day for patience in scanning, resizing for the web, and getting the image to look right at a reasonable file size. I also discovered that this was not a day for trying to find another blog template to jazz up the blog. Fahk. I gave up after my eyes started hurting from trying to manipulate the image. Coincidentally, this happened at about the same time I got hungry, so it worked out in the end.

So, yeah, no Post-It scans today. You never know: I might be inclined to do them at a future date. But, the original Post-Its are sitting here sadly, waiting to be eaten by the dog, so I suppose I should just transcribe them.

Okay, I'll get right to that. Later.

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Another one from the job...

"The United Way... We're all about surly little white children!"

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A Picture Share!

One of the funniest things I've ever seen.

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"Frames can't catch you when you're moving like that."

So, this is my official day to relax. Working forty hours in five days as opposed to ungodly hours in four seems to be a better pace for me, but it certainly makes me appreciate those precious two days of weekend. I had great plans for today, like running errands and taking a long walk in the park with Riley. I was going to keep busy. Silly me.

I got some things done, like going to the library, fueling up the car, and grabbing lunch, but the rain started soon after that, and I hence lost all motivation to do anything else. The rain drove me back home, and here I sat for a few moments, with the dangerous prospect of having nothing but time.

For the past few days, I've wrestled with a lot of past-present-future stuff, not helped along at all with the far-reaching tentacles that Googling permits. If nothing else, the Googling just added some ridiculously overpriced petrol to my nostalgic inferno. To make a long story short and save myself from further embarrassment, suffice it to say that Googling combined with free long distance can be a noxious pair. This did not bode well for my "nothing to do" state, since it gave me something (albeit a something quite dangerous to my waning sense of closure, but a "something" nonetheless) to do.

Thank goodness for an empty house and a voice mailbox that is so full of messages that it won't stand to take anymore.

I'd better stop babbling. This is making even less sense to me as I read it, and I supposedly know what the hell I'm talking about.

Right at this moment, I'm sitting on the couch with nothing but Riley fighting for lap space with the computer and Mr. Johnson filling up all that unnecessary silence. I've also got a blog entry that less than makes sense to anyone else. And that's fine with me.

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Hey...Want to see something funny?

At a later date, I will go all apeshit about the dangers of Googling. For now, suffice it to say that said Googling lead me to an extraordinary find: my old website.

Yes, my Fortune City free site from the grad school years. Horror of horrors! Want to see it? Click here.

Surprisingly enough, the level of suck then isn't that much different from now. Hmm.

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Sleep rules.

Yes, I realize I haven't posted in a month. I've gotten some complaints. It's okay, since there really wasn't a lot of yelling. I will be on here again soon... It's just that since I get home at a reasonable hour from work now, I tend to want to just loaf with the Riles and watch as much Elliot Stabler as the law allows (and a little that it doesn't). So, now, I'm going to go do just that. Toodles.

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